Erin Sullivan
855 Springfield Pike
Wyoming, OH 45215
USA

April 9, 1941

e-

That morning. Now I have been replaying it in my mind. Over and over. It was January. Brandon had just said some terrible things to me. I remember thinking… like a child… what if I left and something happened to me? Wouldn’t he regret it then? As if I, a grown man, wanted more than anything for my child to live with some sort of guilt. And for what? Because he hurt my feelings? As if I thought that would teach him something?

That was the last time I saw him.

I really didn’t know where I was going… I just wanted to leave. I Googled it. Something like “WWII things near me”. And there it was. Ft Thomas. So I got my camera and left. I think I said bye to you. But I can’t even remember now. You had taken his side. So I was mad at you, too. I don’t even think I told you where I was going.

But now I am sitting with all this. I want to forgive myself for it all, but I can’t. That feeling that I wanted him to regret the things he said. I told him that he would… to threaten him… I guess?

How childish.

E, I don’t know where this ends. I want to believe soon. But I’m not an idiot either.

You told him I got lost in the woods. I keep thinking about that. It isn’t even a lie, is it? I got lost, alright. I just don’t know how to find my way back and tell him any of it. I can’t live with the thought that the guilt I’d wished upon him… he actually has now.

I don’t know how I can ever make that sit right in my heart. I can’t. Please tell him.

And I’m sorry. For leaving that morning that way. For all of this.

-J